God Looses Faith in God, Seeks Power Greater Than Himself
God, The Light of the World, Lord Our Father, Alpha, Omega, etc.... and etc...., so on and so forth, has apostisized from Himself and now wanderers the Earth in search of a Greater Power to direct His affairs.
It is unclear when the self-professed "Penultimate Being" lost faith in Himself, but his spiritual sebatical from heavenly administration can be calculated from his appearence in The Ten Commandments. He was not however nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Supreme Being, a slight so depressing He retired from film for years. The History Channel's God's The Bible offered a chance for a second comeback, but as usual God was upstaged by kung fu ninja angels and Barack Hussatan.
A now hackneyed has-been, God can only find divine intervention in commercials as a black man with a malfunctioning smart phone which has further tarnished His as well as our image by revealing Itself to be the Source of his Power. The phone's omnipotence, despite being in Heaven and, one would assume, self-aware since this writer at lest doesn't even want to think about an omnipotent unconscious thing with no soul or good intentions, apparently, is still entirely dependent on good-ole-AC/DC electric current to get it's Earth management powers a moving and a shaking. By implication via God's dejected grimace at it and a montage of Choas Theory distasters epic enough to give even the by now resorting-to-earthquakes-for-a-cheep buck Roland Emmerich a hard-on, there is a very thin line between even the albeit shitty order of things as they are now to a situation beyond biblical proportions since God is rendered as it were Imnipotent without his Mophile Smart Phone Model GX 1000. Said phone appearing to be marketed as God's own personal cell phone of choice, yet portrays God as a punch line Himself and still somehow respectable after all this to endorse the goddamn thing, said Mophile Smart Phone Model GX 1000 seems to be capable of anything and everything except reminding it's Allmacht Creator to recharge it. "Mophile was gracious enough to sell me a First Cause Ap, but I was not Omniresponsible enough to keep my phone charged and I omni-should-have-known better" God said after checking his Christian Mingle profile where even He has been unable to find a match for Himself.
In should come as no suprise, least of all to God, that He has now lost faith in God and is seeking a Power Greater Than Himself to rehabilitate His image to greater relevancy for a universe more concerned about able-bodied actors being like disabled from playing disabled roles in movies, than anything He has ever had to say. "Have you read the Bible? It's so boring. The History Channel's novelization of my Holy word is much, much better than my mininalist style. I always knew The Bible would be a New York Times Bestseller if only I wrote with my audience in mind. No one can put The Bible down with page-turners like this:
'And Jacob, his sweating biceps heaving breathlessly as he wrapped his bulging, scuplted arms around Rachel, whispered in her quivering ears-"
But here God, even with His eschatological presience, which should be above all things atuned to mistakes of this nature, recieves a call from his agent and agrees to appear, at least cameo-wise, in aforementioned Roland Emerich Earthquake movie featuring a fully able-bodiescast.
It is unclear when the self-professed "Penultimate Being" lost faith in Himself, but his spiritual sebatical from heavenly administration can be calculated from his appearence in The Ten Commandments. He was not however nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Supreme Being, a slight so depressing He retired from film for years. The History Channel's God's The Bible offered a chance for a second comeback, but as usual God was upstaged by kung fu ninja angels and Barack Hussatan.
A now hackneyed has-been, God can only find divine intervention in commercials as a black man with a malfunctioning smart phone which has further tarnished His as well as our image by revealing Itself to be the Source of his Power. The phone's omnipotence, despite being in Heaven and, one would assume, self-aware since this writer at lest doesn't even want to think about an omnipotent unconscious thing with no soul or good intentions, apparently, is still entirely dependent on good-ole-AC/DC electric current to get it's Earth management powers a moving and a shaking. By implication via God's dejected grimace at it and a montage of Choas Theory distasters epic enough to give even the by now resorting-to-earthquakes-for-a-cheep buck Roland Emmerich a hard-on, there is a very thin line between even the albeit shitty order of things as they are now to a situation beyond biblical proportions since God is rendered as it were Imnipotent without his Mophile Smart Phone Model GX 1000. Said phone appearing to be marketed as God's own personal cell phone of choice, yet portrays God as a punch line Himself and still somehow respectable after all this to endorse the goddamn thing, said Mophile Smart Phone Model GX 1000 seems to be capable of anything and everything except reminding it's Allmacht Creator to recharge it. "Mophile was gracious enough to sell me a First Cause Ap, but I was not Omniresponsible enough to keep my phone charged and I omni-should-have-known better" God said after checking his Christian Mingle profile where even He has been unable to find a match for Himself.
In should come as no suprise, least of all to God, that He has now lost faith in God and is seeking a Power Greater Than Himself to rehabilitate His image to greater relevancy for a universe more concerned about able-bodied actors being like disabled from playing disabled roles in movies, than anything He has ever had to say. "Have you read the Bible? It's so boring. The History Channel's novelization of my Holy word is much, much better than my mininalist style. I always knew The Bible would be a New York Times Bestseller if only I wrote with my audience in mind. No one can put The Bible down with page-turners like this:
'And Jacob, his sweating biceps heaving breathlessly as he wrapped his bulging, scuplted arms around Rachel, whispered in her quivering ears-"
But here God, even with His eschatological presience, which should be above all things atuned to mistakes of this nature, recieves a call from his agent and agrees to appear, at least cameo-wise, in aforementioned Roland Emerich Earthquake movie featuring a fully able-bodiescast.