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When I first started my tortuous career as a film critic, I got a hair up my ass to see the worst the world of movies has to offer. And by the worst, I don’t mean quality so much as the most gut-wrenching, traumatic, trauma-inducing nightmare fuel available. I had multiple reasons for this. First off, I didn’t watch a lot of horror movies in my childhood; I had seen plenty that traumatized me – Return to Oz, anyone? – but not many actual “horror” movies. So I wanted to make up for that by determinedly seeking out the worst horror and exploitation movies ever made.
It’s a common thing with a lot of us: we want to test ourselves, to see if there’s still something left of that naïve child who can get scared by movies. In this day and age, the real world since 9/11 has been terrifying enough, and I wondered if I had become so desensitized that movies could no longer disturb me as an adult. And so I set out on this admittedly bizarre quest with the single-minded myopia of a true psychopath.
Before I get to my list, I want to make a qualification. There’s a difference between something that’s scary and something truly disturbing. In his book, the Philosophy of Horror, film scholar Noel Carrol seeks to explain the “paradox of horror” – which is why people deliberately seek out and pay for bad experiences such as being scared by horror movies. Carrol is a bit pretentious and gives audiences too little credit and horror movies in general too much credit when it comes to being “scary”.
At best, horror movies achieve that magic but temporary indulgence in the supernatural. I knew, after watching It Follows – the only movie that’s creeped me out since the Ring – that there’s no sex demon following me, but I indulge, perhaps somewhat masochistically, that there is. It isn’t real fear, but an attempt to perhaps feel real fear so as to seem more alive. Mostly though, horror movies just make us either jump or laugh. And that’s why we love them. Mostly.
A movie that is disturbing, on the other hand, is just that; something is disturbing when it disrupts out everyday life and forces an involuntary and unpleasant memory on us, or – through having experienced something extremely unpleasant – stretches our imagination to new depths. The silly fear of horror movies – even the best of them – wear off usually before the movie is over. A truly disturbing movie will make you think for days or weeks.
And isn’t this what we seek in movies, when we seek anything other than mindless entertainment? Don’t we want to experience something outside our lived experience? I think disturbing movies get a bad rap – and I’m not by any means excusing every movie on this list; some are really bad – because they arouse unpleasant, but ultimately beneficial reactions. They make us more of an adult.
Anyway, here’s the ten most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. It’s not a perfect list, but make no mistake: these movies don’t fuck around. These are seriously disturbing movies, and I must say you should be careful if you decide to watch them. If the most disturbing movie you’ve ever seen was Final Destination, consider this your graduation from the kiddie table. If you decide to watch one, just remember that I warned you first.
10. Maniac. This is a rather depressing movie made in the early 80s by William Lustig. It caused a bit of an uproar because of the misogynistic nature of it’s main character, but – as film critic John Kenneth Muir says (and I almost never agree with him) it’s not the film itself that is misogynistic, but the character. And because it’s so unsettling and depressing that, you would think, people would realize we aren’t supposed to be entertained with this movie. Maniac follows as deranged serial killer in New York who scalps women and places their hair on mannequins he might or might not sleep with. Its gross and dirty and awful, and the fretless bass soundtrack makes you want to take a bath.
9. Cannibal Holocaust. This movie has animal-rights activists in an uproar to this day over it’s actual killing (I won’t say murder) of animals. I personally think it’s a little silly to be that outraged over the death of a turtle forty years ago – it’s not like times have changed, PETA – and think the aversion has more to do with putting oneself on a pedestal by which to look down on everyone else. It has one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever, one which stands – oddly enough – alongside other greats like Last of the Mohicans and Glory. Be that as it may, Cannibal Holocaust is one hell of a ride. It’s pretty gory -- gory enough in its time to get the director charged with murder. But it’s also overhyped and relies too much on it’s reputation as being the first found-footage movie to warrant a higher place in the list. But don’t think it’s an easy sit. If you go into Cannibal Holocaust thinking “oh, I’ve seen Green Inferno. Try me”, you’re going to get your ass kicked. I warned you.
8. The House that Jack Built. I suppose I had to include a movie from famed auteur Lars Von Trier, and the House that Jack Built is probably his most disturbing move. Unless of course you can make sense enough of Antichrist to count that. (Antichrist does feature a clitoridectomy in full view with no cut way – yeah, we’re in that territory – but it’s really non-sensical and weird.) It’s about the trials and triumphs of Mr. Sophistication, a serial killer expertly played by Mat Dillon. I wouldn’t normally include it if it wasn’t for it’s particularly heartless way of killing people. It’s more intellectually disturbing than viscerally disturbing, but there’s plenty in it – as always with von Trier – to keep you up at night with uncomfortable thoughts. It’s funny too, at times. Really funny.
7. Henri: Portrait of a Serial Killer. This movie was given an X-rating not for violence – there’s actually very little – but for its overall “moral tone”. This movie is a bleak and realistic portrayal of serial killers, in their moldy, filth-ridden habitat and gross behavior. Henry is disturbing because, unlike any movie I can think of, it shows you the crime scene after the murders; the dead woman, often in exact forensic replication, while the soundtrack plays the murder in real time, leaving it to your imagination as how the horrible event – the whole fucked-uppedeness of it – went down. It’s a brutal, unforgiving “portrait” in all sincerity of what serial killers are really like. There’s a segment where one of the characters re-watches a murder on videocassette that is especially disturbing because it shows you not only the murder, but the humdrum trashiness that the killers view it through.
Those are, relatively, the mainstream movies. From this point forward, the movies I’m listing are pretty bad.
6. Man Bites Dog. This is one of a few Criterion Collection movies I’ll mention. Man Bites Dog is the story of a film crew that follow an uncaught serial killer around, not getting involved but also not stopping him. It sounds simple enough, but Man Bites Dog features some of the most brutal killings I’ve seen on film –including old people and kids. It’s also wickedly funny – it has perhaps one of the funniest scenes in a movie I’ve seen – but it doesn’t play when it comes to murder. It’s a tough movie, and by watching the film crew do nothing, you feel complicit yourself in his murders. But, still, it isn’t that bad compared to
5. Faces of Death. I felt obligated to include this famous piece of trash, not because it’s been proven than most of the “deaths” are actually real, but as a segue into a real problem. Faces of Death was the first “movie”, so to speak, that bragged of including real deaths as part of its entertainment. While most deaths in Faces of Death are actually fake, some aren’t, and that’s really bothersome if you sit down and think about it. It led to Traces of Death, which in its turn led to Rotten.com and several – probably infinite – rip-offs. This all culminated, as far as I know, in a real life series of videos such the famous “American Psycho” killer who filmed an actual dismemberment of a murder victim to the “Two guys One Hammer” videos from Germany. Real death videos, as far as I’m concerned, are not art in any sense, but it’s through the gate that Faces of Death opened so long ago that people have felt inspired to post their own murders live for all to see. But, as it is, Faces of Death is pretty disturbing even as “fiction”.
And now, my lovies, we’re in the hardcore zone. If you haven’t seen any of the previous movies, I highly suggest not watching one of these first.
4. Thanatomorphose. This is, as far as depression and nausea go, perhaps the most disturbing movie ever made. A young woman – for no reason at all – begins to slowly and painfully decompose while she is still alive. What makes this movie so disturbing is that, as we don’t understand why she’s decomposing any more than she does, we share her confused, angry, and bizarre behavior. The more she rots, the more we put ourselves in her situation, and the more we sympathize as the more she rots away. Thanatomorphos isn’t so much disturbing for its violence or gore, but as it forces us to face our own decomposition – our postponed, vs. her actual decomposition – and see that played out in the most non-compromising situations you can imagine. While she is actually decomposing, so are we, just not in such an obvious and horrible immediacy. We see her do things that at first – such as attempt to make desperate love to her boyfriend – we think are odd, extreme, and disgusting, since she’s a rotting corpse, after all. But, in a very real sense, what she’s expressing is the base reality of all our lives: what do we really care about when death is proximate and our own decay – rather through age or disease – is closing in? Thanatomorphos is trying to teach us that there is a moment in which we will be unable, rather through physical or psychological decay, to fulfill our desires, and steels us for this reality. It’s a goddamned uncomfortable and infinitely depressing movie, but it just might make you think.
3. Necromantik 1 and 2. Make no mistake about the beautiful – and I mean beautiful – soundtrack, these movies are only for those with real backbones. The feature actual, real-life killings of animals – make that skinning of animals – ever put to film as well as the most accurate necrophilic love scenes I’ve cared to legally explore. I’m not exactly sure what artistic purpose these movies are trying to achieve, but they aren’t without humor. They’re quite expensive, and if you buy them you’ll probably wind up on a list; I didn’t care – I’m already a “terrorist” – but the Necromanik duology is certainly the upper bar of hardcore cinema.
2. Philosophy of a Knife. I don’t care if you laughed when Quint was killed in Jaws. If you think you’re hard because you laughed at Titanic, or a slasher movie, or even any of the above movies on this list, Philosophy of a Knife will kick your ass. This is the only movie, except a Serbian Film, which I deliberately excluded for reasons, that I think maybe should be banned for violence. It’s about a Japanese concentration camp that explored the limits of human pain, and if you think you can handle it, think about this: it took me a fifth of whisky to make it through, and – over seven years later – I still vividly remember how graphic it was. This is – by far – the most gory movie I have ever seen. It’s so gory I won’t even mention the death scenes. This movie is over four hours of intense, unforgettable torture. It also sucks, so don’t think you’ll enjoy it artistically. If you must watch it, buy a fifth like I did -- and get some pot too, if you can – and try your best to drink yourself to sleep. Trust me – there’s nothing to gain but regret from this movie.
Salo. Of course it’s Salo. The single most unforgettable epic of anti-happiness and despair. The one movie that, of all the others, confronts your soul with its own nastiness. This movie is widely interpreted and misunderstood and defamed and banned. Basically an allegory of Fascist Italy fused with the 120 Days of Sodom, Salo is a hardcore examination of human nature. It’s genius doesn’t lie in its gore – of which there is little, comparatively – but by the way it represents that gore and makes you imagination complicit in the crimes going on. You don’t see what happens off-screen, but what you imagine makes you feel awful, makes you complicit. The movie employs multiple distancing techniques to take your visceral experience of the violence as far away as possible, but that’s what makes the movie so sly.
If you saw a young boy getting raped by an Italian aristocrat, you could say that you were shocked and horrified by the experience.
But if it was implied, and you imagined it, than that makes you complicit, and uncomfortable. It makes you think that you could easily be that Italian aristocrat, because what you’re imagining is what you think he’s doing.
And this is exactly what Salo is trying to do. It takes the most atrocious things imaginable, the worst things human beings are capable of doing to each other, and presents them in a way that makes you imagine them. And if you can imagine them, you are capable of doing them. Instead of showing the villains do repugnant things and making you revulsed at them, it puts the villainous side of you in perspective, and that’s why you feel so sick and nauseated and dirty when you watch it.
Anyway, that’s the most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. If you can think of others, you have more time on your hands than I do.
When I first started my tortuous career as a film critic, I got a hair up my ass to see the worst the world of movies has to offer. And by the worst, I don’t mean quality so much as the most gut-wrenching, traumatic, trauma-inducing nightmare fuel available. I had multiple reasons for this. First off, I didn’t watch a lot of horror movies in my childhood; I had seen plenty that traumatized me – Return to Oz, anyone? – but not many actual “horror” movies. So I wanted to make up for that by determinedly seeking out the worst horror and exploitation movies ever made.
It’s a common thing with a lot of us: we want to test ourselves, to see if there’s still something left of that naïve child who can get scared by movies. In this day and age, the real world since 9/11 has been terrifying enough, and I wondered if I had become so desensitized that movies could no longer disturb me as an adult. And so I set out on this admittedly bizarre quest with the single-minded myopia of a true psychopath.
Before I get to my list, I want to make a qualification. There’s a difference between something that’s scary and something truly disturbing. In his book, the Philosophy of Horror, film scholar Noel Carrol seeks to explain the “paradox of horror” – which is why people deliberately seek out and pay for bad experiences such as being scared by horror movies. Carrol is a bit pretentious and gives audiences too little credit and horror movies in general too much credit when it comes to being “scary”.
At best, horror movies achieve that magic but temporary indulgence in the supernatural. I knew, after watching It Follows – the only movie that’s creeped me out since the Ring – that there’s no sex demon following me, but I indulge, perhaps somewhat masochistically, that there is. It isn’t real fear, but an attempt to perhaps feel real fear so as to seem more alive. Mostly though, horror movies just make us either jump or laugh. And that’s why we love them. Mostly.
A movie that is disturbing, on the other hand, is just that; something is disturbing when it disrupts out everyday life and forces an involuntary and unpleasant memory on us, or – through having experienced something extremely unpleasant – stretches our imagination to new depths. The silly fear of horror movies – even the best of them – wear off usually before the movie is over. A truly disturbing movie will make you think for days or weeks.
And isn’t this what we seek in movies, when we seek anything other than mindless entertainment? Don’t we want to experience something outside our lived experience? I think disturbing movies get a bad rap – and I’m not by any means excusing every movie on this list; some are really bad – because they arouse unpleasant, but ultimately beneficial reactions. They make us more of an adult.
Anyway, here’s the ten most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. It’s not a perfect list, but make no mistake: these movies don’t fuck around. These are seriously disturbing movies, and I must say you should be careful if you decide to watch them. If the most disturbing movie you’ve ever seen was Final Destination, consider this your graduation from the kiddie table. If you decide to watch one, just remember that I warned you first.
10. Maniac. This is a rather depressing movie made in the early 80s by William Lustig. It caused a bit of an uproar because of the misogynistic nature of it’s main character, but – as film critic John Kenneth Muir says (and I almost never agree with him) it’s not the film itself that is misogynistic, but the character. And because it’s so unsettling and depressing that, you would think, people would realize we aren’t supposed to be entertained with this movie. Maniac follows as deranged serial killer in New York who scalps women and places their hair on mannequins he might or might not sleep with. Its gross and dirty and awful, and the fretless bass soundtrack makes you want to take a bath.
9. Cannibal Holocaust. This movie has animal-rights activists in an uproar to this day over it’s actual killing (I won’t say murder) of animals. I personally think it’s a little silly to be that outraged over the death of a turtle forty years ago – it’s not like times have changed, PETA – and think the aversion has more to do with putting oneself on a pedestal by which to look down on everyone else. It has one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever, one which stands – oddly enough – alongside other greats like Last of the Mohicans and Glory. Be that as it may, Cannibal Holocaust is one hell of a ride. It’s pretty gory -- gory enough in its time to get the director charged with murder. But it’s also overhyped and relies too much on it’s reputation as being the first found-footage movie to warrant a higher place in the list. But don’t think it’s an easy sit. If you go into Cannibal Holocaust thinking “oh, I’ve seen Green Inferno. Try me”, you’re going to get your ass kicked. I warned you.
8. The House that Jack Built. I suppose I had to include a movie from famed auteur Lars Von Trier, and the House that Jack Built is probably his most disturbing move. Unless of course you can make sense enough of Antichrist to count that. (Antichrist does feature a clitoridectomy in full view with no cut way – yeah, we’re in that territory – but it’s really non-sensical and weird.) It’s about the trials and triumphs of Mr. Sophistication, a serial killer expertly played by Mat Dillon. I wouldn’t normally include it if it wasn’t for it’s particularly heartless way of killing people. It’s more intellectually disturbing than viscerally disturbing, but there’s plenty in it – as always with von Trier – to keep you up at night with uncomfortable thoughts. It’s funny too, at times. Really funny.
7. Henri: Portrait of a Serial Killer. This movie was given an X-rating not for violence – there’s actually very little – but for its overall “moral tone”. This movie is a bleak and realistic portrayal of serial killers, in their moldy, filth-ridden habitat and gross behavior. Henry is disturbing because, unlike any movie I can think of, it shows you the crime scene after the murders; the dead woman, often in exact forensic replication, while the soundtrack plays the murder in real time, leaving it to your imagination as how the horrible event – the whole fucked-uppedeness of it – went down. It’s a brutal, unforgiving “portrait” in all sincerity of what serial killers are really like. There’s a segment where one of the characters re-watches a murder on videocassette that is especially disturbing because it shows you not only the murder, but the humdrum trashiness that the killers view it through.
Those are, relatively, the mainstream movies. From this point forward, the movies I’m listing are pretty bad.
6. Man Bites Dog. This is one of a few Criterion Collection movies I’ll mention. Man Bites Dog is the story of a film crew that follow an uncaught serial killer around, not getting involved but also not stopping him. It sounds simple enough, but Man Bites Dog features some of the most brutal killings I’ve seen on film –including old people and kids. It’s also wickedly funny – it has perhaps one of the funniest scenes in a movie I’ve seen – but it doesn’t play when it comes to murder. It’s a tough movie, and by watching the film crew do nothing, you feel complicit yourself in his murders. But, still, it isn’t that bad compared to
5. Faces of Death. I felt obligated to include this famous piece of trash, not because it’s been proven than most of the “deaths” are actually real, but as a segue into a real problem. Faces of Death was the first “movie”, so to speak, that bragged of including real deaths as part of its entertainment. While most deaths in Faces of Death are actually fake, some aren’t, and that’s really bothersome if you sit down and think about it. It led to Traces of Death, which in its turn led to Rotten.com and several – probably infinite – rip-offs. This all culminated, as far as I know, in a real life series of videos such the famous “American Psycho” killer who filmed an actual dismemberment of a murder victim to the “Two guys One Hammer” videos from Germany. Real death videos, as far as I’m concerned, are not art in any sense, but it’s through the gate that Faces of Death opened so long ago that people have felt inspired to post their own murders live for all to see. But, as it is, Faces of Death is pretty disturbing even as “fiction”.
And now, my lovies, we’re in the hardcore zone. If you haven’t seen any of the previous movies, I highly suggest not watching one of these first.
4. Thanatomorphose. This is, as far as depression and nausea go, perhaps the most disturbing movie ever made. A young woman – for no reason at all – begins to slowly and painfully decompose while she is still alive. What makes this movie so disturbing is that, as we don’t understand why she’s decomposing any more than she does, we share her confused, angry, and bizarre behavior. The more she rots, the more we put ourselves in her situation, and the more we sympathize as the more she rots away. Thanatomorphos isn’t so much disturbing for its violence or gore, but as it forces us to face our own decomposition – our postponed, vs. her actual decomposition – and see that played out in the most non-compromising situations you can imagine. While she is actually decomposing, so are we, just not in such an obvious and horrible immediacy. We see her do things that at first – such as attempt to make desperate love to her boyfriend – we think are odd, extreme, and disgusting, since she’s a rotting corpse, after all. But, in a very real sense, what she’s expressing is the base reality of all our lives: what do we really care about when death is proximate and our own decay – rather through age or disease – is closing in? Thanatomorphos is trying to teach us that there is a moment in which we will be unable, rather through physical or psychological decay, to fulfill our desires, and steels us for this reality. It’s a goddamned uncomfortable and infinitely depressing movie, but it just might make you think.
3. Necromantik 1 and 2. Make no mistake about the beautiful – and I mean beautiful – soundtrack, these movies are only for those with real backbones. The feature actual, real-life killings of animals – make that skinning of animals – ever put to film as well as the most accurate necrophilic love scenes I’ve cared to legally explore. I’m not exactly sure what artistic purpose these movies are trying to achieve, but they aren’t without humor. They’re quite expensive, and if you buy them you’ll probably wind up on a list; I didn’t care – I’m already a “terrorist” – but the Necromanik duology is certainly the upper bar of hardcore cinema.
2. Philosophy of a Knife. I don’t care if you laughed when Quint was killed in Jaws. If you think you’re hard because you laughed at Titanic, or a slasher movie, or even any of the above movies on this list, Philosophy of a Knife will kick your ass. This is the only movie, except a Serbian Film, which I deliberately excluded for reasons, that I think maybe should be banned for violence. It’s about a Japanese concentration camp that explored the limits of human pain, and if you think you can handle it, think about this: it took me a fifth of whisky to make it through, and – over seven years later – I still vividly remember how graphic it was. This is – by far – the most gory movie I have ever seen. It’s so gory I won’t even mention the death scenes. This movie is over four hours of intense, unforgettable torture. It also sucks, so don’t think you’ll enjoy it artistically. If you must watch it, buy a fifth like I did -- and get some pot too, if you can – and try your best to drink yourself to sleep. Trust me – there’s nothing to gain but regret from this movie.
Salo. Of course it’s Salo. The single most unforgettable epic of anti-happiness and despair. The one movie that, of all the others, confronts your soul with its own nastiness. This movie is widely interpreted and misunderstood and defamed and banned. Basically an allegory of Fascist Italy fused with the 120 Days of Sodom, Salo is a hardcore examination of human nature. It’s genius doesn’t lie in its gore – of which there is little, comparatively – but by the way it represents that gore and makes you imagination complicit in the crimes going on. You don’t see what happens off-screen, but what you imagine makes you feel awful, makes you complicit. The movie employs multiple distancing techniques to take your visceral experience of the violence as far away as possible, but that’s what makes the movie so sly.
If you saw a young boy getting raped by an Italian aristocrat, you could say that you were shocked and horrified by the experience.
But if it was implied, and you imagined it, than that makes you complicit, and uncomfortable. It makes you think that you could easily be that Italian aristocrat, because what you’re imagining is what you think he’s doing.
And this is exactly what Salo is trying to do. It takes the most atrocious things imaginable, the worst things human beings are capable of doing to each other, and presents them in a way that makes you imagine them. And if you can imagine them, you are capable of doing them. Instead of showing the villains do repugnant things and making you revulsed at them, it puts the villainous side of you in perspective, and that’s why you feel so sick and nauseated and dirty when you watch it.
Anyway, that’s the most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. If you can think of others, you have more time on your hands than I do.
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